Here's the bad news about getting a job: You can't roll out of bed at 11 a.m. five days a week for three well-spaced, 50-minute class periods. When you're given big assignments, you now have to start and finish them the same day. You can't come to work in pajamas and big fuzzy bear slippers just because you've still got at least a quart of Amber Bock in your bloodstream from last night.
The good news is, you get a decent paycheck
every two weeks, instead of once a semester
from the government. And you can use it to buy
new clothes, a car you're not ashamed of, and
to come back to campus every few weeks and be
adored by your old friends because you can buy
the beer all night.
These are the sites that, sooner or later, you'll be visiting four times a day, every single day, for two weeks (in a fantastic economy) or two years (in a bottomed-out economic depression). Either way, you're going to be spending a lot of quality time together. Might as well start now.
Now, put your best foot forward, because there are hundreds of thousands of American students graduating with you (not to mention millions of Chinese and Indian students) who would take a crowbar to your shins for these same jobs. But you have character and class. You're dashing. And you smell terrific.
Remember all that training your school gave you about how to put together an awesome resume? Of course not, because no one bothers to teach you that, do they? If you're lucky, maybe you got some pointers from a career counselor, but ask yourself something. If Mr. Career Counselor knows so much about what employers like, then why is he still grinding it out as a career counselor at the local college? Ever think of that?
Occasionally, someone who's actually applied for and gotten real jobs will weigh in on what makes a great resume. Here's a tip: Listen to those people. Don't be one of the blind who's led by the blind. Be one of the blind who's led by the seeing. Sighted. Whatever.
Make an Online Resume
Back in the '90s, building an online resume was something you took a semester-long class to learn how to do (and got three credit hours!). Today, it takes about 5 minutes to make an online resume.
If your resume isn't online, then it's not
available to the billions of people across
the world, millions of whom are hiring right
now. How can you sleep at night knowing that
you're not in consideration for that sheepherding
job in Mongolia? Or that modeling job in Iceland?
Or that security job in Iraq? Get your hat
in the ring, fool.
Post Your Resume
If your resume isn't on at least 8 or 9 resume sites, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask a tough question: Am I whoring myself out as hard I should be? If you have to ask, you know the answer. And the answer is no.
All the major job sites are free to post your resume, and it doesn't take much time. Yeah, everyone's on Monster.com, but what about the others? There are jobs there, too. Or would you rather move back home and suckle at Mom and Dad's teat again?
Newspapers & Magazines
Just a few short years ago, people thought websites like this one (and, perhaps to a lesser degree, big important ones like NYTimes.com or CNN.com) might make newspapers and magazines extinct. But it turns out, they still have a lot of good info, and you can tear out an online picture of Britney Spears and stick it in your wallet and whisper secrets to it while you sit in the waiting room at the dentist's office.
If you're not into celebrity worship, there are also a few print publications out there that will give you information that's actually relevant and will make you smarter and more desirable job candidate. One is the Wall Street Journal, another is the Financial Times. Another is Western Horseman Quarterly, but that's only if you're a horseman in the American West.
"Getting A Job" Articles
Maybe we should have put this section at the top instead of way down here. Except for you art-history and philosophy majors who just went to college to broaden your minds, most of you are in school because you want a better paying job. Unfortunately, colleges often forget to teach you very much about how to do that..
This section is full of articles about how to get jobs, and guess what? There's a bonus -- they're all written by people who actually HAVE jobs, so they probably know what they're talking about. Intellistudent Tip #22: Don't take job advice from the unemployed.