What is a 'Mail
Order Bride?'
By Irina Chernoff
What does this term mean? Where does it come
from? Why do dating services use this term?
Let’s dot our "i’s" and cross our "t’s" once
and for all!
International marriages are very
popular now. Though many people can’t
understand them. Sometimes they just need
to "mature" for it. Nevertheless, developed
communications and Internet have done
their part. It has become convenient,
accessible and quick to meet people from
other countries. But it hasn’t always
been so! However, international marriages
did exist. How did people meet?
Here is the version of Yale Professor
of History, Howard R. Lamar:
At the early period of history of the
USA, in California, the Chinese who found
themselves there absolutely without women,
started to organize marriages through
go-betweens. The Frenchmen who found themselves
in Louisiana among the English-speaking
population organized marriage-mediation
in a big way. The brides were brought
for them from France. The women usually
came with small boxes and due to these
boxes they were named "casket-girls".
They became well-known."
Later so-called "mercy’s girls" appeared.
Mercy imported girls to Wyoming, Oregon
and Alaska in vans. But these potential
brides turned out to be surprising. They
started their businesses at the West -
stores, sewing workshops, kitchens, and
the marriage-intermediary didn’t work
out. And the opposite example. To the
far west women were brought to brothels
from Germany and France. Many of them
were prostitutes in Europe, but in a new,
big and rich country they realized that
they could start a new life and they scattered,
dispersed in the environment and married
farmers".
It was about this time that the term
"mail-order brides" appeared.
Here is how the history of its origin
is explained in Answers.com:
"The term probably originated during
the colonial period when men traveled
through various empires for financial
gain. After establishing their income
in a new colony they faced three choices:
- stay single,
- marry a local indigenous woman or,
- seek to have an available woman come
from the metropolitan centre; or in the
case of economic immigrants that came
from an economically depressed region
to seek employment, from their mother
country.
Often these marriages were arranged by
members of the immigrants family 'back
home' and the relatives picked amongst
available women to find one that would
suit their family member thus they would
negotiate with the woman before she left
with her belongings (and perhaps with
her children if she was a widow). Often
these women were willing to travel for
marriage because of the limited opportunity
in their place of origin. This tradition
continues amongst first generation immigrants
to western countries, most particularly
amongst Pakistani, Bangladeshi and East
Indian males and females who wish to marry
someone of similar social, economic and
educational status; indeed many marriages
are arranged in India and the bride and
groom may not have much if any opportunity
to court before the marriage ceremony
is conducted.
During the twentieth century this tradition
has been used for a (in some ways) similar,
yet very different social phenomenon,
that of a western male, usually second
or third generation immigrant himself,
seeking a woman from a more 'traditional'
or non-western culture. For whatever reason,
these men seek out women from various
countries, most notably economically depressed
parts of the world, such as countries
in the Commonwealth of Independent States
like Russia, Ukraine, Belarus and the
other central Asian - stans, or from cultures
where femininity is still encouraged and
women are expected to take care of their
husbands and engage in housekeeping, child
rearing and other domestic chores».
It was in regard to the history of terms.
However, international acquaintances became
that popular during 1980-es. Telephone,
fax, photos, catalogues.
Like some food you choose one out of
thousands women, make an order, pay by
a credit card and she is "coming over
through Fed Ex in a big wooden crate"
;)
I don’t know, guys, how effective this
way was and how many positive stories
can be told to advocate this way of acquaintance
today. Still there are agencies that stick
to this way.
HOW DO THEY WORK? As a rule, at their
sites there are thousands of women. 20-30
thousand is a norm. A huge catalogue,
choose any. You can buy her contact information
and correspond with her on your own, or
can use the agency’s service for it. The
main difference of this kind of agencies
from dating services like ours (and their
main minus) is that women are only pages
of a catalogue for them: faceless, nameless
goods.
The agencies like ours work with each
woman personally! We not only know her
by sight, but also checked her passport
information, we know if she is well or
ill at the moment, if she is in the city
or left on business or holiday. We know
some details of her life because we often
talk to her at the office. We are more
than marriage go-between for a woman.
We are consultants, friends and psychologists.
It is normal! So we can say with confidence:
we answer for each woman of our agency!
Can an agency that has 20 thousand women
say it? Why then you can find our site
on request "mail order brides" in search
services like www.google.com?
Unfortunately, this term is too loved
by journalists and this is why it is so
popular. And often, when talking about
the bride from abroad, someone uses the
term "mail order brides", actually having
no idea about the details of the process.
So we have to use it in order than men
who are interested in foreign brides get
to our site.
Why "unfortunately"?
Because this term humiliates women! They
find it very insulting that someone can
think them to be goods that can be ordered
by catalogue. The man who respects his
bride will never allow himself, his relatives
and friends to use this word.
This term is also very loved by American
feminists. They say to American men: first
you order wonderful, tender mail order
brides and then we have to defend them
from you! :))
So I’d like to sum up:
"Mail order brides" is the term that
can mislead you, because it is a well-promoted
brand. We can’t send you a bride by mail,
but we can acquaint you with real women
who want to make a family. Feel the difference
:)
Irina Chernova
I am 28 years old Russian female, working
in dating field for almost 7 years and
my specialty is dating articles for ChanceForlove
Russian Dating Services
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Irina_Chernoff
