Unacceptable Dating
Behavior is Always Unacceptable
By Dr. Jackie Black
The dating process is one of the most universally
perplexing processes. The art and act of dating
confounds even the most resolute of people
dating. Dating requires that you be forthcoming,
take some risks, become a good observer and
listener, and trust and act on your observations
and intuitions.
One essential reason to become a
good observer is to be able to recognize
unacceptable behavior and stop dating
someone ASAP. Dating is a process and
part of the process is to be an active
participant and to be proactive in your
decision-making and choices.
Don’t let dating just happen to you.
Recently a friend of mine canceled a
mid-week dinner date with a man she had
been dating a few weeks. When she called
him (the morning before the scheduled
date) he wasn’t home so she left a message
on his answering machine explaining that
she had a business conflict and look forward
to seeing him soon.
She returned home later that evening
to find a message on her machine in which
he made accusations, called her names,
and hung up abruptly. When she called
him to talk about his unacceptable message
he was remorseful and apologetic. He said
canceling dinner hurt his feelings, and
when he called to see if she was all right
and she wasn’t home, he became worried.
My friend observed how this man behaves
when his feelings are hurt and he is worried.
She believed what he told her about himself
and had the courage to stop dating him
because his behaviors are not behaviors
that match her value for being treated
with kindness and respect by people she
invites into her world.
I can already hear some of you groaning
and saying, "But this was only one
experience"
For all of you who are giving this man
the benefit of the doubt, I invite you
to review your own relationship histories.
· When did you know what you didn’t want
to know, that ultimately caused you or
a partner to end a relationship?
· Don’t think that just because you are
dating someone you have to accept all
of their idiosyncrasies, quirks, and behaviors.
· You are involved in a process that
should result in you being able to create
a life-long, love relationship in which
you feel loved, respected, cherished,
and experience deep passion and joy.
· Accepting someone’s bad behavior, no
matter what the reason, is not part of
the process.
People tell us about themselves from
the very beginning. Have the willingness
and courage to hear them accurately and
believe them!
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
Copyright Dr. Jackie Black 1999-2005
If you like this article, please read
more about Dr. Jackie’s relationship dating
advice and help for issues and problems.
This article may be re-published with
appropriate attribution to the author
including name, web site, email address
and telephone number.
Dr. Jackie is an internationally recognized
relationship expert, educator and coach.
Advice and coaching about personal relationships
is Dr. Jackie's passion. Her goal is to
inspire and support single men, single
women and couples through the challenges
and pitfalls of dating, loving and building
lasting, committed relationships in today's
fast-paced world. Dr. Jackie's Relationship
Coaching Programs and Groups, her Blog,
downloadable PodCasts and her Internet
streaming radio show are jam-packed with
valuable dating tips and strategies.
http://www.DrJackieBlack.com
DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com
1.888.792.6224
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