Turning Mr. Boyfriend
Material Into 'The' Boyfriend
By James Monahan
It's one of the most nerve-rattling-and necessary
events in every good relationship. Mr. Boyfriend
Material eventually has to become The Boyfriend.
You've decided once and for all to take it
to the next level and send Mr. Boyfriend Material
to real-life coupledom.
You can charm the pants off anyone
with your sugar lips and defuse most potentially
deadly showdowns with your razor-sharp
wit. Still, somehow, when it comes time
to initiate the relationship conversation
(read: turning Mr. Boyfriend Material
into The One) none of that makes a damn
difference.
You're left tongue-tied and nerve-racked.
That's because that couple-status report
inevitably puts you in the clichéd nagging-woman-pointing-at-her-stopwatch
position -- and him on the utmost defensive.
Someone is bound to get freaked out, hurt
or misled.
Because the check-in is a necessary milestone
in any growing relationship, you'll have
to face the music at some point. We've
come up with a plan for making the commitment
conversation a lot easier on both of you,
and it's actually effective.
When you kiss Mr. Boyfriend Material
you get goosebumps. And at the end of
each date, you both agree to do it again...soon.
But since your status with Mr. Boyfriend
Material is loose, "soon" sometimes
turns into days or even weeks.
Your goal is to establish some sort of
romantic rhythm with Mr. Boyfriend Material.
Problem is you're afraid that upping the
ante will cause him to fold his hand.
Here's the nudge. There's something he
likes about this breezy setup or you'd
be seeing him more often than you do your
manicurist.
Most likely, he fears sacrificing his
time for steady dates with you. So ease
his anxiety by stressing how much is happening
in your life, the concert you saw last
week or your friend's margarita party,
and you'll zap any jitters he has that
dating you will chip away at his independence.
You'll also become a more valuable commodity.
Looking to be an exclusive couple? Dying
to get engaged?
In a perfect world, all romantic relationships
would sail smoothly from sort-of-dating
to madly-in-love. More often than not,
though, the road to Coupleville with Mr.
Boyfriend Material is dotted with commitment
detours, ones that your man seems unable
to navigate.
Who doesn't want to get closer to a man
you're crazy about? But pushing for a
tighter bond is a tricky task. After all,
many men are perfectly happy keeping things
between the two of you the same...indefinitely.
So how do you give your love a nudge without
causing him to jump ship?
Things may feel serious with your man.
After all, your Friday-night dates often
turn into 48-hour get-togethers, and his
rottweiler recognizes you when you walk
in the door. But since you haven't had
the official "talk" yet, you
have absolutely no clue if you're his
one and only...or if he even wants you
to be.
When the mood is relaxed, find out for
sure whether Mr. Boyfriend Material is
seeing someone else by casually asking,
"Don't the other women in your life
get jealous that you spend so much time
with me?" If he just shrugs, follow
up with a playful "So, how many are
there? I need to know what I'm up against."
If he admits he's dating around, don't
freak. You just need to communicate calmly
and clearly how long you're willing to
be one of several.
Mr. Boyfriend Material will eventually
be The Boyfriend if you know how to work
it. Either way, he's yours for the taking.
James Monahan is the owner and Senior
Editor of MaterialSites.com
and writes expert articles about material.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=James_Monahan
