Forget E-mail, Get Them on your Messenger!
By Vittorio Norman
Back in the day I used to try all sorts of
email strategies to meet women online. I'd
send them an email trying to get the ball
rolling, only to find out that they usually
didn't respond. The problem with trying to
start something over email is that you are
all too often at a disadvantage. You have
to say something "clever" or "witty"
to get her interested, not look like you're
trying too hard, and at the same time stand
out from all the other boring emails she gets.
There is very little room for error here.
When it comes to internet personals,
the commonly accepted email "strategy"
is to read her profile and based on that
come up with an opener that shows you
are interested in something about her,
would like to know more, and segue from
there. Unfortunately, this is very hit
or miss, since many women write little
about themselves anyway, and the ones
that do write a lot often don't give you
a lot of material to work with, so you
end up "grasping". It tends
to make you look try hard, which will
work against you. Unlike real life where
it is common social courtesy to stick
out a boring conversation for the first
minute or two, until things click, over
email there is absolutely no incentive
for her to put in any effort to get to
know you if you start off with something
boring like, "hey, how are you?...soo...what
did you do this weekend?" This is
a basic example of how normal conversation
starts anyway. Stick it out until (hopefully)
you find common ground, and then the rapport
starts to flow.
Regarding email openers, what does tend
to work best is if the girl has a specific
interest, like a travel destination, and
you happened to be there on a past trip.
Then you can make a comment on that and
an email exchange is much more likely
to succeed. But this is usually not the
case.
I have found that the best way to deal
with the email "opener" is to
avoid it altogether. Nowadays, I get them
on my messenger. I personally use msn
mostly. But other ones like yahoo or ICQ
are also popular.
For example, let's say I send a wink
or smile to a girl on the internet personals,
to show I'm interested. She winks or smiles
back, meaning she's interested too. I
then shoot her an email saying either,
"hi, do you have msn?", or "hi,
feel free to add me to your msn, if you
have it, xxx@hotmail.com". Most times
they do, or they suggest chatting on another
messenger program, like yahoo, for example,
which is fine too. And then when they
log on it's easy to start communicating.
I like to start things off with a "hi,
what are you up to?", and it just
goes from there. Then I usually get them
on the phone, and set up a meet. Very
easy.
Now some internet personal sites don't
have the smile or wink feature, so in
that case I will send out a bunch of messages,
consisting of either "hi, do you
have messenger?", or "hi, feel
free to add me to your msn, if you have
it, xxx@hotmail.com", like before.
So out of 10 messages I send out, I get
maybe 1 or 2 adding me. Now, some girls
won't have messenger, but that's not a
big deal if they don't. They can choose
to get it, since they are free to download,
and it's obvious they have access to an
internet connection. I know at least one
woman who downloaded msn just to be able
to talk to me.
I never try to get to know them over
email. I invite them to chat with me on
messenger, period. If they want to get
to know me they are forced to talk to
me on messenger. And once on there I can
flirt, attract, run rapport etc, before
setting up a meet.
Now the way some women will respond to
your initial message will be with either
a, "ok, I added you. Talk soon",
or whatever. Or they'll give you their
messenger address and ask you to add them
instead. Not a problem, I add them.
Other women still, will say they don't
have messenger but will give you their
email address instead and ask that you
write them. I personally never do, since
I can't be bothered with it, so I normally
just forget about them. And I personally
find that many women that do this are
uptight anyway, and hung up on small details
like having the man chase them (go through
hoops), even over the internet. This is
one way to help weed out "rules"
girls. But, in a few cases, it might be
that she really doesn't have messenger,
but you can tell she's interested (ie.
she gives you a valid reason for it, like
she only has internet access at work and
messenger isn't allowed). So in that case
try suggesting a phone conversation, and
offer your number, as a last resort. And
if she declines or ignores you, then just
move on. It is not your job to babysit
a woman. She has to be adult enough to
step up to the plate, just like you.
Hopefully this clears up a lot of the
mystery for some on how to write the "perfect"
email. Don't. Get them on messenger, is
my advice.
Copyright © 2005 Vittorio Norman
Vittorio Norman is the webmaster of NLP
Based Flirting and Seduction http://www.nlpbasedseduction.com/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Vittorio_Norman
