Dating: Saying
"No" is Not Rejection
By Dr. Jackie Black
How many people do you know who can not tell
someone they are dating that they do not want
to see them any more?
How many couples do you know who continue
to date, are not making a commitment and one
or both of them are miserable being together?
Why do you suppose that intelligent,
capable and otherwise successful men and
women do not tell the truth when they
no longer want to spend time together
and build a life with another person?
Men and women from the U.S. and Canada
to the U.K. to Australia and New Zealand
tell me the very same thing:
· I can’t tell him that I don’t want
to be with him anymore…it sounds so mean
· I don’t want to hurt her feelings
· I can’t just reject him, he’s such
a nice guy
· She won’t understand…she’ll be so upset
and she’s very sweet
· People say I’m being too picky…that
I am actually very lucky to be dating
such a wonderful…
Please remember you are dating. Dating
is a process. You are dating to find your
ideal match. Recognizing that the men
and women you are dating are not a match
for you is the point of the process.
It is highly likely that you will date
a number of people who will not be your
ideal match before you and the love of
your life find each other. As soon as
you recognize that your date is not your
ideal match, stop the dating process.
You will not be the ideal match for the
overwhelming majority of people who date
you! When men or women you date recognize
that you are not a match for them, they
will (hopefully) stop the dating process…they
will stop dating you.
There is no “rejecting” or “rejection”
going on here. No one is being mean or
hurting the feelings of others when one
stops dating someone who is not the ideal
match. Mindful adults are making mindful
decisions with volition and intention
about the “who” and the “how” of the rest
of their lives. It is as simple as that.
Go out, keep dating and don’t settle
or accept good enough. Your ideal love
is a very special man or woman who will
not be interchangeable with anyone else.
Trust that it can be fabulous; that you
can have what you want! Say goodbye as
soon as you know what you know, deep in
the place where you know it!
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
Copyright Dr. Jackie Black 1999-2005
If you like this article, please read
more about Dr. Jackie’s relationship dating
advice and help for issues and problems.
This article may be re-published with
appropriate attribution to the author
including name, web site, email address
and telephone number.
Dr. Jackie is an internationally recognized
relationship expert, educator and coach.
Advice and coaching about personal relationships
is Dr. Jackie's passion. Her goal is to
inspire and support single men, single
women and couples through the challenges
and pitfalls of dating, loving and building
lasting, committed relationships in today's
fast-paced world. Dr. Jackie's Relationship
Coaching Programs and Groups, her Blog,
downloadable PodCasts and her Internet
streaming radio show are jam-packed with
valuable dating tips and strategies.
http://www.DrJackieBlack.com
DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com
1.888.792.6224
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