Dating Money Talk:
All is Fair in Love and Finances
By Dr. Jackie Black
Men and women are always curious about how
to engage each other in conversations about
money. What questions are OK to ask? When
do you start asking direct questions about
money?
Everybody wants to be sure they are financially
compatible before they commit to a long-term
partnership, but very few are comfortable
talking about the issues.
Being able to accurately assess financial
compatibility is an essential aspect of
the dating process and can also be a helpful
skill in existing relationships as well.
There is no substitute for spending time
together in many different situations,
listening carefully to personal sharing,
and observing behavior.
Let's talk about your money personality.
Your money personality is not dependent
on how much money you earn. It has specifically
to do with values, beliefs, concepts,
fears, and fantasies about money.
Ask yourself these questions:
· What did your parents tell you about
money?
· What did you learn from observing your
parents and their habits around money
and with money matters?
· What are your beliefs about earning,
spending, saving, tithing, investing,
and credit?
· What are your ideas about earning more
or less money than your partner?
· Would you be willing/able to support
someone temporarily? Long-term?
· Would you be willing/able to let someone
support you temporarily? Long-term?
· Do you enter each check in the register
and balance your checkbook each month
or not? What does it say to you about
another person who does or does not do
this?
· What do you spend money on?
· Do you pay attention to price?
How well do you know yourself? How easily
were you able to answer these questions?
What other questions do you have?
Before you open up a discussion about
money be sure to clarify your own money
psychology and become aware of your beliefs,
needs and issues related to money.
When you are dating, it is never too
early to offer your points of view about
anything to do with money and to listen
and observe carefully what others think
and say about money.
There is nothing about which to feel
embarrassed or ashamed. You are in charge
of how you handle money.
Money issues come up sooner or later
so you might as well be up front from
the start. Your money personalities do
not have to be the same as the people
you are dating or even the same as your
ideal partner’s.
The critical question is how do the differences
affect you? Can you live with the consequences
that may result from the differences?
Some differences can be easily accommodated.
Some differences can cause uneasiness
in your relationship resulting in resentments
that outlive the love.
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
Copyright Dr. Jackie Black 1999-2005
If you like this article, please read
more about Dr. Jackie’s relationship dating
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This article may be re-published with
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and telephone number.
Dr. Jackie is an internationally recognized
relationship expert, educator and coach.
Advice and coaching about personal relationships
is Dr. Jackie's passion. Her goal is to
inspire and support single men, single
women and couples through the challenges
and pitfalls of dating, loving and building
lasting, committed relationships in today's
fast-paced world. Dr. Jackie's Relationship
Coaching Programs and Groups, her Blog,
downloadable PodCasts and her Internet
streaming radio show are jam-packed with
valuable dating tips and strategies.
http://www.DrJackieBlack.com
DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com
1.888.792.6224
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