Social Life
Now, this is where a smarmier, more sarcastic website might make some comment like "Social Life -- you know, that thing you still don't have?" But that's not what Intellistudent is about. Just because your only way to meet beautiful women is to watch Univision on Saturday night doesn't mean you don't have a social life. Really. It doesn't.

Life is about far more than books and learning, my good friend. Even the most prominent men in our nation's history enjoyed a good night on the town. Abraham Lincoln loved a night at the theater. OK, bad example. You think JFK got cozy with Marilyn Monroe just by presidential magnetism? No way. He had to hit the town and work it, baby. Just like you and me.

SOCIAL LIFE

Dating

Serious question: Do you know how many dating sites are out there? Hundreds. Whether you are a straight white evangelical Christian man looking for a marriage partner or a black lesbian Jewish cowgirl who wants a one-night stand in the worst way, there is a personals site behind this link for you.

Diet & Health

One of two things happens to every person who ever spends time on a college campus. You either a) wander over to the campus rec center and discover the incredible benefits of diet and exercise and become a much healthier person, or b) you begin a torrid year-long affair with the sundae bar and pack on the Freshman 15 in 9 months before slowly adding another 15 over the next three years. Please note: A is better than B.

But if you're loading up on pie instead of loading up a barbell, don't worry -- the trend can be reversed. Diet/exercise plans abound, some very smart (South Beach), others ridiculous (Atkins). Sometimes you just need a little kickstart. Get some help here.

Clothes

Someone famous once said, "clothes make the man." My mom, on the other hand, said "The clothes at K-Mart are the same as all the expensive stores, except without some stupid fancy label on them. So there's no need to wear anything but Kmart clothes when you go to your fancy private school out East, because no one will be able to tell the difference."

And with that statement, my mom was inducted to the Wrongness Hall of Fame, and I was brutalized by Andover kids for 8 months before learning to drink bourbon. Thanks, Mom!

Shoes

Not only are shoes cheaper on the Internet, but you don't have to walk around a shoe store with one new shoe and old shoe, desperately seeking a mirror that's five inches tall and glued to the ground.

No, you can't try them on if you buy them online, but who are you, your mom? You're in college and you don't know what size shoe you wear? Break the chains of parental hypnosis and buy something without trying it on. Next thing you know, you'll be running with scissors, leaving the front door open to heat the entire outside world, and maybe even putting a toaster next to the bathtub.

Handbags

If you absolutely must have that Louis bag (and it's pronounced "Louie," not "Lewis," OK Kanye?) and you can afford to buy it -- then why are you bothering with college in the first place?

If you can't spring for it but just like to gawk (or gag) at the expensive purses that so many of your sistren are walking around with when they hit the town, this is where you'll find them. And a $200 python-skin Coach ipod cover. And so on.

"Going Out" Articles

Where else on Mother Earth can you find articles about push-up bras, Mormon dating, mail-order brides, arachnophobia and OCD? You got it -- the Intellistudent "Going Out" Article section.