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If you're in college
and still running down to Blockbuster or Hollywood
or Movie Gallery or Joe's Backdoor Private Pleasure
DVD Emporium to get your movies, then something
has to give, my friend. Not only are you spending
way too much time with that creepy video-store
clerk, but you're wasting all that time
with the back-and-forth driving. Not to mention
the fact that you're DRUNK and you can't be out
driving! Another DUI is your third-strike, and you
can't hack prison. You're too weak. Too frail. Too
pretty.
Thankfully, Netflix
and a host of others have solved this dilemma for
you. College is all about learning to be efficient,
and you shouldn't be going any farther than
your mailbox to pick up a movie.
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