The federal government released a study last month that said without student loans, there would be about 22 people in the U.S. with a college degree. The rest of us would be working as shoeshine boys and housemaids for those 22 people. Think about it -- if there only 22 people with college degrees, they'd probably be extremely rich and have a vast empire requiring tens of thousands of shoeshine boys and housemaids.

Luckily, student loans are real and get the rest of us through college, with a glimmer of hope that we may have our own shoeshine boys and housemaids at some point. But if you screw up and don't pay your student loans or take out too much money, guess what you'll end up doing in life? You got it -- you're going to be my shoeshine boy. Or housemaid. Or shoeshine maid or houseman (I am an equal opportunity employer).